playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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