the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
