quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
