I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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