I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
