yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
