David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
