Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
