I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
