idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
