But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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