hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize