We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
