he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am midnight drunk by noon
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Can I color on your dick again?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
