I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
