If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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