:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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