He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
