why didn't you poke me back
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
