Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
