I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My ass is underappreciated
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
