Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
