For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just high enough for therapy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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