I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize