girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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