we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
