Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
