Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
