Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
