This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
