I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize