Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
