ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
