yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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