You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Randomize
