i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
