do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
