his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
