I bet he comes in French.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
