All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
