She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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