My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
