I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
