That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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