There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
