You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
