so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
