Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
