Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
