Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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