Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
