Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
my liver is dry heaving
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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