Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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