remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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