He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
