no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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