He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
