Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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