i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
