After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
