textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
