Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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