I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
