do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
