Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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