I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
