what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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