i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
