you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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