party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize